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H.R. Guidelines for Workplace Communication

 
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IoneMonk
no YOU shut up!


Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 2313

PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 5:39 pm    Post subject: H.R. Guidelines for Workplace Communication Reply with quote

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals

throughout the company have been using foul language during the

course of normal conversation with their co-workers.


Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily

offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.


We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to

accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.


Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have

been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can

continue in an effective manner.


Number 1

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.

INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.


Number 2

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.

INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing b__ch.


Number 3

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?


Number 4

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.


Number 5

TRY SAYING: Really?

INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!


Number 6

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.


Number 7

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.


Number 8

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF: What the f___?


Number 9

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.

INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.


Number 10

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.

INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?


Number 11

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.

INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.


Number 12

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.


Number 13

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.


Number 14

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.


Number 15

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.

INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.


Number 16

TRY SAY ING: I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.


Number 17

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?


Number 18

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.

INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.


Thank You,

Human Resources
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Gillaian
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Joined: 22 Apr 2005
Posts: 1065
Location: Outside your window, watching...

PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 7:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lol!

*cough* /looks at Mandaar

/hides
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Innania



Joined: 11 Aug 2008
Posts: 793
Location: Winter Haven, FL

PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 9:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So while bored at work today, I sent this to about half the people I know.

I saved the other half for tomorrow (I'll need something to do all day!)
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Illusionist Innania the Ultimate Illusionist of Norrath level 85 Enchanter
Sage Innamien the Bibliophile, Legend of Norrath level 85 Magician
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Santina



Joined: 22 Apr 2005
Posts: 431

PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 10:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hahaha Gilly good one!

/hides
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