Appotus Dominus

[xereau]

A man and a woman are driving down the highway when a police car flashes its lights behind them. Sighing, the man pulls over.

The officer walks up to the window and says, "Are you aware that you were going 80 in a 60 zone, sir?"

The man looks briefly at his wife and says to the officer, "Are you sure officer? I had the cruise control set to 60."

Elbowing her husband in the ribs, the wife pipes up, "This car does NOT have cruise control, honey." The mans eyes widen and he lets loose a tiny whimper of frustration.

The officer looks at both of them and begins to write out a ticket. As he is doing so, the man and wife start to have a quiet, but heated discussion. The only audible part he hears is the wife's voice saying, ".. if the laser detector you bought last week is so good, why are we sitting here?". The man's eyes dart to the officer as the officer Tsk's and begins to write a 2nd ticket. The discussion in the car becomes more heated, as the man's temple begins to visibly throb and his neck turns red.

The officer starts to write a 3rd ticket, and says to the man, "I see you are not wearing your seatbelt. That is an $85 fine, sir."

The man wipes his mouth with the back of his hand in some attempt to regain some composure, and with a shit eating grin, he manages to croak out, "Oh, I just took it off to reach for the paperwork in the glovebox." Immediately his wife chimes in, "No you didn't!".

The man abruptly blurts out, "JESUS woman!" He raises his hand in anger, and then slowly puts it down. The officer tilts his sun glasses, looks in at the woman and says, "Ma'am, does your husband always treat you like this?".

The woman replies, "Only when he's been drinking."
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[Raolf]

she needs kicked in the teeth
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[Mildane]