Appotus Dominus

[Cassra]

The teacher gave her third grade class an assignment to have their parents tell them a story with a moral at the end of it and to be prepared to share it in class the next day.



The next day each child was called on to come up to the front of the class and tell their story.



There was all the regular types of stuff... spilled milk, counting your chickens and pennies saved, etc.



As the next-to-the last student was finishing up, the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that little Ernie was the only one left to share his story.



"Ernie, do you have a story to share with the class?"



"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.



She jumped out of the plane and drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break. Then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi soldiers.



She shot 15 of them with her pistol until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with her knife till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."



"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher. "That's a horrible story!! What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this?"



"Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking!"